Give Yourself Grace!

Reflecting over 2019, I find myself coming back to one concept over and over again. Give yourself some grace! I said it many times during 2019 as a way to ‘preach’ to others, but failed to truly live it out in my own life.

It’s quite sad actually, because I know I’m not alone. How many times have you come up short and beat yourself up? Does your number echo something ridiculous like…5,489,225? Yeah, mine too!!

Some of the ways I’ve beat myself up this year: (just a few)

• Wasn’t a great friend: I’m such a lousy friend; I don’t deserve friends
• Didn’t lose the weight: I’m so fat – just look at how disgusting I am!
• Had moments of anger: What a loser! I have zero self-control!
• Cooked the meal badly: I can’t cook – I can’t do anything right!
• Made mistakes: I’m so stupid!

So, now it’s January 1st and, just like a lot of you, I have all sorts of goals that I want to accomplish this year. Frankly today, I am filled with hope and expectation that I will accomplish every single one! Although, somewhere lingering at the back of my mind, is the ever pestering negative voice already planning how to verbally abuse me when something doesn’t go right or I come up short.

I took an early morning walk with some ladies this morning to ‘kick-off’ the new year well. As we walked, one lady said, “I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror this morning and my legs are so chubby and when I moved them they jiggled” she made a “whloa whloa whloa” sound. And another quickly chimed in and said “Yes, I was brushing my hair yesterday and my arms were jiggling, oh those bat wings!”

My heart was already aching at the way they spoke to and about themselves. But before I could respond the third lady said, “Ladies, I know we all have areas we need to grow in and make changes and have lots of goals this year, but will we promise to do one thing – to speak positively to ourselves?”

YES! A kindred spirit to the convictions of my own heart! This particular lady has always reminded me that we would never say the things we say to ourselves, to our best friend or daughter or mom or sister.

So why do we say such horrible things to ourselves??

Let me ask you this: would you say horrible things about God’s creations?

Ephesians 2:10 says ‘For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.’ WE are his creation!!

David takes it to a deeper meaning in Psalm 139. ‘For you created my inmost being…’. I want to focus on this.

Inmost is the innermost of something.

To me, that means that he created my whole being, even my personality! And when I go defaming that personality I am verbally assaulting God’s creation. I am saying that what he created is not good enough, isn’t smart enough, isn’t pretty enough, isn’t funny enough – you name it – just plain isn’t enough!

I am telling God that He made a mistake with me! But God doesn’t make mistakes, does He? And I fully believe when we treat ourselves badly and do not exercise the same grace we would extend to others, it hurts His heart.

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Just as my friend challenged us this morning, I want to challenge you as well. Give yourself grace! Here are a few ways that may help you do that as you stretch toward reaching your goals:

• Speak TRUTH to yourself – I acknowledge that I’m overweight or have a lot of excess fat / I made a mistake on that project / My angry outburst wasn’t the best reaction / I haven’t been the most stellar friend – whatever it is that you beat yourself up over, still speak the truth. But truth doesn’t have to be an attack on who you are!
• Acknowledge where you did succeed, even if you came up short.
• Also acknowledge the failure or shortcoming – this will help you make a plan to do better the next time – even if your next time is 1,000 next times.

Go and stretch toward your goals, work hard to accomplish them – but by all means give yourself GRACE!

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for who you created each of us to be! Help us to give ourselves grace and speak nicely about ourselves. Help us learn to love us!

In Jesus Name,

Amen!