Sewing Lessons with Mama

Last year I took some sewing lessons from my mama. As you can imagine, the first few times I sat behind that sewing machine weren’t pretty. I made several mistakes, and temporarily “broke” her machine a few times. I’ll never forget the immense amount of patience she had with me as I fumbled around and how her hands would delicately repair her machine for me to have another go at it. Inside she probably cringed at my ineptitude, but she never showed that to me – not once.

I recall one day, a few lessons in, I was doing ok if we’re being honest but was still making some mistakes. Forget to back tack here, or sew too close to the straight pin there, or allow the bobbin to run out, etc. Anyway, this particular day I was exercising those black belt abilities I have – you know, the beating up on yourself black belt abilities. For the first time, I saw my mama get a bit flustered at me.

She said “Can’t you just be a beginner?” I was a bit stunned into silence. I thought, don’t you know who you are talking to? Don’t you recognize this daughter of yours? I chuckled slightly as I said shook my head and said, “No”. The response carried an undertone of humor, but was 100% honest.

I struggle being a beginner at anything. I want to be excellent at everything, and it’s not enough to be excellent – I want to be excellent immediately. I quickly lose patience with myself when I fail. Then I allow my flesh to barrage my mind with inaccurate descriptions of my character with phrases like:

• You are so stupid, you’ll never do it right?
• Can’t you do anything right?
• What a dummy, you can’t learn a simple task!
• What makes you think you can do this?
• What an embarrassment!

You get the idea. I’m mean to me!

But my mama’s words stuck with me: “Can’t you just be a beginner?”.

The truth is, I was a beginner. And I’ve been a beginner many times in my life. I just struggle accepting being a beginner.

Why?

Because being a beginner is when our flaws are most visible. We are actively trying to do something new or different and we don’t have the expertise for it yet; so every time we make a mistake or fail it is magnified in our minds.

We haven’t yet spent enough time with the craft to have developed sound habits, which is what ultimately leads to the expertise. I could have just given up after my first few failed sewing lessons, but I decided to keep trying and remain consistent. It’s like the old adage “practice makes perfect”. Learning to be a beginner is a lesson I am still working at, but my understanding of what it takes is becoming more and more clear the more times I am a beginner. Consistency in practicing (whatever it is) is key.

All of this came flooding back to me recently when a young woman was asking me questions about being a beginner as a new believer. She asked, “Joanie, how do you do a bible study? How do you begin to pray? What do you say? Or how do you read the bible?”.

I shared with her a few things about how to start.

• Talk to God like you would confide in a friend, just say what’s on your mind. NOTHING about prayer needs to be eloquent.
• Pick a book of the bible and just start reading. I recommended the four gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) because it is all about Jesus’ life and ministry.
• In your prayers, ask God for wisdom, understanding, and discernment about what you are reading.
• Write down any questions you have, and ask a trusted spiritual advisor about them.
• Do this everyday, and as you build the habit – it will naturally grow, as well as you.

We had several conversations and she would ask the same questions over and I would try to say the same things again in a different way. But it didn’t matter, nothing I shared seemed to give her understanding.

Soon I realized that she was struggling with being a beginner. It seemed overwhelming. Where do I begin, how do I know if I’m doing it right, when will it become natural, how will I know I’m getting it, etc. etc.

And while I wish I could give you some new, profound, cutting edge revelation about being a beginner in Christ that you can fit onto a nice bulleted card with pretty scrolled handwriting, I can’t.

The truth is, you just have to start and keep practicing. When Jesus called the disciples, He simply said “Follow Me”. It was about taking a step of faith to begin with.

It’s the same today, just a different year. So if you need a bulleted list, this is the best I’ve got.

• Just start.
• Talk to him plainly – that’s prayer. Or simply pray the Lord’s prayer every day found in Matthew 6:9-13
• Read the bible, even if you don’t fully understand it – it’s your connection to His Word and Him. It will change you as you read it; the bible says in 2 Timothy 3:16-17, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
• Practice prayer and bible reading consistently – every day

It might feel awkward or hard, especially when flaws become visible – missing a day of reading, forgetting to pray. But don’t give up. Just keep going.

Be a beginner, practice daily, and keep going when you mess up. Eventually you will find yourself different than you once were and you’ll only have one explanation for why.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for loving us before we begin, and walking beside us as we begin. Give us discipline to start and endurance to continue. May we learn to be beginners who don’t beat ourselves up for it. We love you!

In Jesus’ Name, Amen