Confident in your Calling

I have felt certain of my calling for quite some time now. My calling to write. To allow Jesus to shine through me in that writing. So I do write. I put words down and then I hoard them. I have notebook after notebook and word document after word document full of writing. Writing that isn’t shared. And you want to know why? Because I’m not confident in my calling! There, I said it. And the reality of that statement is not that I am not sure of what I’m supposed to be doing – it’s that I don’t do what I’m sure I am supposed to be doing.

It’s a lot like Moses when he was called by God. In Exodus 3 & 4, God called Moses (by speaking through a burning bush) to go to Egypt to confront Pharaoh about releasing the Israelites. Moses immediately went on the defense. A little (paraphrased) synopsis of the scripture looks like this?

Moses: Who am I that I should go and bring your people out of Egypt?

God: Certainly, I will be with you!

Moses: Well, when I tell them the God of their fathers sent me they are going to ask me his name – what am I supposed to tell them?

God: I Am that I Am, so you tell them I Am sent you. And here is all I need you to say…

God went on to tell him clearly and in detail what to say, no mistaking it).

Moses: Look, they are not going to believe me or listen to what I say. They are going to say that the Lord has not appeared to me.

God: Well, here are some signs you can show them so they will believe. Your rod will become a serpent when you throw it down and a rod when you pick it up. If that isn’t enough, then you can make your hand become leprous and healed again instantly. And if THAT isn’t enough, then take water from the river and when you put it on dry land it will become blood.

Moses: Oh, but surely you know I am not an eloquent speaker, in fact I am slow of speech and tongue. In other words God you need someone who is persuasive and strong in speaking to others.

God: Who made your mouth? Who makes people mute, deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not me? Now go and I will be your mouth and teach you what to say!

Moses: Lord, please send someone else!

Moses eventually begged God to send anyone else. He made God angry at him for being so reluctant. But what amazes me is that God STILL didn’t stop giving him help to go and accomplish the task. He said, isn’t Aaron your brother? I know he can speak well, he’ll help you and I will help both of you!

It took a lot of convincing and a lot of details laid out before Moses was obedient to his calling. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand what God was asking him to do or that God wasn’t clear with His instructions. I believe it was that Moses was not confident in his calling. He really believed he was not the right man to go and he didn’t think people would listen to him. He even thought they would question him and he wouldn’t know what to say because he wasn’t a great speaker. He wasn’t confident at all.

And that sounds very similar to me and where I’ve been for months, maybe years! I write and think, this isn’t relevant to anyone – no one will be able to relate – people are going to roll their eyes – no one cares what I have to say – the wording isn’t perfect so I can’t share that – etc. etc. etc. I always have a reason why I’m not the right person, this isn’t the right time and the words won’t mean anything.

I bet God gets angry with me too, as He reminds me for the millionth time that it isn’t about me – it’s about Jesus through me – about what He has to say through my fingertips! And that’s just it, isn’t it? Just like with Moses, God has a plan, He will be my mouth (or fingertips in this case), I just have to have a willing and obedient heart.

There is an old adage, God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called. Something I’ve learned is, He can’t equip someone (even a called someone) who isn’t willing to be obedient in action to that calling.

We do have a shining example of a willing and obedient heart. In Isaiah 6, God gave Isaiah a vision of the throne room. And just at the sight and sounds of the heavenly realm, Isaiah immediately admits who he is. A sinful man living among a sinful people. In this passage, God is speaking to the angels saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” Isaiah didn’t hesitate in his response, “Here I am, send me!”. Oooh, just the thought of his zeal and eagerness to serve the Lord sends a flutter through my tummy! Isaiah didn’t even know what God was sending someone to do, but he knew he wanted to be the one to go. No detailed plan, no long list of the ways the Lord would help him, just obedience to the call. And I believe it’s because Isaiah was confident. Confident that no matter who he was (remember when Isaiah recognized his sinfulness), he was made for his calling and that God would equip him if he would just go and do whatever it was.

Ultimately, I believe it comes down to this. In order to be confident in your calling, you have to be confident in the One doing the calling. Moses was skeptical. And if I’m honest, I am too! Maybe you are too. Maybe you are struggling with being obedient to action in your calling. I hope you’ll pray for me and if you’ll drop me a comment, I’ll certainly pray for you!

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for placing a calling on my life. Please help me to have the eagerness and obedience of Isaiah. When I am not confident in myself, remind me that it isn’t about me and that You are my confidence. You are my sure Rock! May I be a willing vessel all the days of my life.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen!